


Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader

by commanderbensolo



Series: Oneshot and Headcanon Series [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: College AU (for some of the oneshots), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I'm writing this while procrastinating, If you guys want something requested then just comment, Implied smut?, Kissing, Oops?, Romantic Tension, Sexual tension?, Strong Language, idk what this is, makeout, mentions/references to abuse?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23863840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderbensolo/pseuds/commanderbensolo
Summary: Just a collection of one-shots and headcanons :)If you guys want a specific one shot, then feel free to either request in the comments or send me a request through Tumblr which ishere
Relationships: Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader
Series: Oneshot and Headcanon Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719733
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	1. I Don't Want To Lose You Pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first addition to my oneshot series. This one is a part 1 of another one which I am continuing to write, but it got to 11pm at night and I decided to split it into two parts, so I hope that's okay with y'all. If you guys want to request a oneshot, feel free to hmu on Tumblr with a request, my Tumblr is commanderbensolo if y'all wanna send me a request :)
> 
> Thank you all for reading!

Y/N stood there in the cockpit, blinking slightly as the harsh blue tones of hyperspace slowed down in front of you until all you could see was the Supremacy in front of you. Turning towards the back of the ship, you walked slowly to where the rooms were situated on board, knowing full well that Kylo had passed out as soon as you entered hyperspace. "Kylo?" You asked softly, knocking on the door so as not to startle him. Not getting a response, you knocked again, a little harder this time, and you heard a groan from within the room. Taking this as a cue to come in, you pressed the button by the side of the door and watched as it slid open with a slight hiss. As you peered inside the room, you noticed that Kylo had discarded his cape, gloves, shirt and boots at the side of the room, and was now lying face down on the bed wearing just trousers. Seeing that he was shirtless, you blushed a little, feeling like you had invaded his private space. _I've seen him shirtless before, what's the big deal?_ You thought to yourself, annoyed that the man in front of you could have such an overwhelming and dizzying effect on you just by taking his shirt off. "Hey, Y/N?" Kylo grunted from being face down into the pillows. You gathered yourself quickly. "Y-yeah?" You said, cursing yourself for stuttering, and hoping he didn't notice. "Your thoughts are terribly loud you know." He looked up at you as he said those words, and you swore you could see a hint of a blush on his cheeks while he smirked at you. You cursed yourself again, this time for letting your mental shields down so he could have a peek inside your mind. You could yourself blushing, and willed yourself to stop, knowing that would give him even more of a reason to look like the cat got the cream. "I actually just came to tell you that we came out of hyperspace like 5 minutes ago, so get prepared for an ass-whipping from Snoke." You said with a smirk, and he rolled his eyes and groaned as he face-planted the bed once more. You heard him say something, but since his face (read here: handsome as hell face) was buried in layers and layers of quilts, you couldn't hear what he said for the life of you. "I'm sorry, what was that?" You say with a smirk, a teasing lilt to your voice knowing full well that it was a complaint of some sort about what Snoke was going to say. " I said..." He replied as he pulled himself upwards with a grunt into a sitting position, "that this is kriff. We succeeded this time, so he literally has nothing to complain about." 

"Well, you know Snoke. Apparently something could always be done better. I don't see how Hux can get away with being such an ass with him, to be honest." You hear a chuckle escape his lips, and look at him, raising an eyebrow. "What?" You question, as he stands up and begins to redress. "I think Snoke probably keeps him around and in one piece for entertainment purposes, you know. I mean, the arguments between you two are honestly hilarious." You gasp at him in mock offence and reach up to flick his forehead. "I take offence to that Kylo Ren! You know full well that the arguments are not meant to be funny." 

"But they kinda are." You laugh at his words, replaying the many, many spats you've had with Hux in the past and instantly forcing yourself not to escape into peals of laughter. You didn't think either Snoke or Hux would like it if you landed in the hangar bay of the Supremacy and emerged from the Command Shuttle splitting your sides. A series of beeps come through your earpiece that's connecting to the ship's circuits and you turn towards the front of the ship, where the cockpit controls are alerting you that you've reached the Supremacy and that you've landed in the hangar bay. Turning back to see Kylo fully dressed and with his helmet on (possibly just so he could his bed head), you walked towards the side of the ship, where the loading ramp was, Kylo close behind you. Turning to him before the doors open as you land with a slight bump, you grasp his hand in a friendly way, your other hand on your saber at your side. _"Ready?"_ You send through the Force Bond towards him, and you see him nod his head in response. Pressing the button near the ramp, it opened to reveal the usual chaos and turmoil of the hangar bay, a sight which comforted you due to being around it for so long. You both walked down the ramp with long and confident strides, meeting General Hux at the bottom, which was a common occurrence after a mission. Pulling down your hood, you looked at Hux as he disregarded Ren with the usual distaste that he always seemed to carry in his expression. "General Hux, a pleasure to see you." You say with a hint of sarcasm in your voice. Truth to be told, you didn't like this man at all. He was arrogant, aggravating, and always seemed to act like he knew best for everyone in the First Order when you knew for a fact that wasn't true. "Y/N, lovely to see you too. Supreme Leader Snoke requires your presence at 2000 hours, so don't be late." He says with a sneer, and you fight the urge to punch the infuriating man in the face. Sensing your anger, Kylo sent a wave of calming emotions through the Force to you, and as you felt them pass through your body you relaxed, grateful that Kylo was able to restrain you even though he shared the same opinions about Hux. "We won't be late Hux, now go about your day." You hear Kylo say through his modulator, and Hux just turns away and walks through the hangar entry doors, leaving you and Kylo at the bottom of the ramp. " _Well, I'm gonna go shower and take a nap, meet you at 2000?"_ You say through the bond as you two begin walking. " _Yes, I'll see you then. Are you going to have dinner beforehand or after?"_

_"I think I'll have it after, we don't know what Snoke has in store yet. I'd rather not end the night puking my guts up over my quarters because he decided that we weren't good enough, you know?"_ You feel a shudder of sorts through the bond, and you know that you're both reliving memories of seeing what Snoke put you both through over the years, especially when he had decided in his own warped view that you both had 'failed'. In the last couple of years, you had begun to doubt that he even knew what the word meant and whether he just used the term as an excuse to inflict punishment on you and Kylo instead. " _Kylo, I won't let him hurt you, not again. I'm sorry I wasn't there last time."_

_"It's fine, it wasn't your fault. I was the one who let the scavenger get away."_ By the time, you've arrived at your quarters, which are just over the hall from Kylo's, and he finally takes his helmet off. "God I hate wearing that thing sometimes, it just gets so stuffy in there." You laugh lightly at his words, inputting your door code into the panel beside it, and turn around to see him doing the same. "Anyway, I'll see you in a bit, I suggest getting some more sleep because we're going to be shattered as kriff after the meeting. You know what he's like." You say with a roll of your eyes at the last part. He rolled his eyes in response with a smirk, mumbling a 'see you in a bit' as he stepped into his quarters. Doing the same, you put your lightsaber down on the coffee table in the middle of the lounge area, hanging up your cloak on your way to the bathroom. Taking your Y/C hair out its braid and shaking your hair loose, you pick out some more comfortable (but still appropriate) clothing and lay it on the bathroom counter before stripping out of your grimy combat clothes and boots and stepping into the hot shower. Turning around to grab your shampoo, you started wondering about what would happen at the meeting. Would Snoke be okay this time? Would he hurt Kylo again? Would he hurt both you and Kylo this time? The thought of Kylo being hurt in front of you made your stomach twist into apprehensive, worrying knots, knowing for a fact that even though Snoke demanded obedience, you wouldn't be able to just kneel there and see Kylo being tortured. Not Kylo, not the man you loved. You caught yourself on that last word, gasping to yourself sharply and muttering a 'fuck' as you knocked your head against the tiled wall. _Love? Is it love, or just infatuation? Or am I just attracted to him physically?_ You cut yourself off during your ramble by scrubbing down your body and turning the shower off quickly, stepping out and drying yourself off with a towel and dressing in the clothes you had laying on the counter. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you quickly threw your wet hair up in a bun, deciding to let it air dry so you could have more time for sleep as you dragged your fatigued body to your bedroom, quickly setting an alarm on your datapad for 7:30 before deciding to face-plant the bed and falling asleep in a matter of seconds, knowing full well that you would be dragged from the sweet world of dreams far too soon. 

_"Y/N, I'm asking you once, and once only," Kylo said to you as you stood in Snoke's throneroom, the room flickering with fire and sparks every few minutes. His hand was outstretched, and you could see the scavenger girl (Rey, you think her name was, though you had no idea how you knew that) standing to the side, looking at Kylo as though trying to plead with him. "Kylo, what do you want to ask me?" His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths as his panted, and you assumed (though you had no recollection) that a fight had just taken place. Looking around, you saw no sign of Snoke's Praetorian Guards clad in their scarlet armour, and when you looked over at the throne, you saw that Snoke's body had been cleaved in two, and was now no longer upon the throne. Instead of feeling horror at such a sight, you felt relief. The days of Snoke torturing and punishing you and Kylo were finally over, and you were finally free to do as you wanted. "Y/N... I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring order to the galaxy!" You looked at the tall, dark man in front of you, and instead of feeling apprehension and fear at his request, you felt joy and excitement. Rule together? Was this his version of admitting you were more than a friend to him? Was this his way of finally, **finally** , admitting he had feelings for you too? "Please don't do this Ben, please don't go this way." You heard Rey's voice cut through your train of thought, and with the mention of his old name, you made up at your mind. You stepped forward, and place your hand in his outstretched one, whilst your other hand came up to cup his face. "Yes, **Kylo Ren** , I will join you." With this, it was a split-second before his lips were crashing into yours, and suddenly you two were engaged into a heated, passionate kiss, bringing your arms up around his neck to grip at his hair whilst his arms found their way around your waist, holding you close to his body as he continued to kiss you. As you broke apart to breathe, you put your foreheads together and looked into his hazel eyes, and finally turning to face Rey, who was looking at you both partially scared and broken. She had been counted upon to bring Kylo back from the Dark side and to return as Ben Solo, and she had failed. "I suggest you start running scavenger if you want a chance of living at all." You say to her and you move into a fighting stance, your hand coming to rest on the saber at your belt. Suddenly, she thrust her hand out, Force-pulling the lightsaber that was in Kylo's hand towards her. Kylo, his reflexes being quicker than his senses, instantly raised his hand as well to bring it back, until the lightsaber stopped in mid-air between them and started to vibrate from the Force that was being exerted on it. Reaching your hand out also, you tried to use the Force to bring it towards you and Kylo, but Rey put in more effort. You sensed that she was untrained fully, having only spent a small amount of time with Luke Skywalker before returning to try and turn Kylo back towards the Light, but despite being untrained, she was undoubtedly strong, and she was being guided by her natural instincts within the Force. You let out a yell with the amount of energy you're exerting, and distantly you hear both Kylo and Rey utter sounds of the same kind until the lightsaber snaps in two and creates an explosion of energy so powerful it knocks you, Kylo and Rey backwards, where you pass out. _

Bolting upright from your bed, you realise you're gasping for air and breathing heavily, you're skin covered in a thin sheen of cold sweat. You look at the clock on the far wall and realise it's 1900, an hour from when you have to meet with Snoke. You fall back down on your bed, feeling like you've just fought a battle and breathing heavily. You think back to the dream, and your eyes widen. As you continue to stare at the ceiling, you continue to think only one thought. _What the actual fuck was that?_


	2. I Don't Want To Lose You Pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second part of I Don't Want To Lose You. I hope you all like it, if you want to check out my other works please feel free to do that :)

Throwing on her standard cape as well as ankle-high black boots, Y/N pressed a combination onto the control panel of her door to allow her to be let out and across the hall to Kylo's room. Before knocking, she sent a quick _"I'm outside, you ready?"_ to Kylo, and when the grunt of a _"Yes_ " was heard, you took that as an indication to input his code and let yourself in. Since you two were extremely close, you had decided years ago to give each other your room codes, as it was just easier for the both of you to let yourselves in than to wait for the other person to finish what they were doing. Basically, another explanation is that you two were extremely impatient. 

Stepping into Kylo's quarters, your eyes are suddenly met with the sight of (yet again) shirtless Kylo. Your eyes grow as wide as dinner plates as you realise that you're also blushing, an act which has become much too common around Kylo in the past year. "Kylo, I swear you're doing this on purpose." You say in a scathing tone as you sit down on the plush leather black couch in the middle of his lounging quarters. Tugging on an undershirt (much to your dismay) as well as his normal padded tunic, you hear him chuckle as you close your eyes. "Doing what, Y/N?" You hear him say with a teasing lilt in his voice. You crack one eye open to shoot him a withering look, but the effect was not the same when you couldn't stop a smirk from creeping its way onto your face. "Never mind, let's just go. It'll be worse if we're late."

You stand up and Force-pull his lightsaber from the counter, throwing it to him before making your way over to where he was standing. "Hello." He says with a smile as he looks down at you. You feel your heart flutter with emotions you can't explain, and on sheer impulse, you wrap your arms around his neck as you stretch to give him a hug. He's surprised for a second, not expecting such an intimate action, but he soon reciprocates it, holding you tightly in his arms, almost as if he's afraid to let you go. "I'm really sorry Kylo." You mumble into his shirt, not minding that his lightsaber is sticking into your stomach harshly or that your toes hurt from standing upon them. "For what, Y/N?" He murmurs softly in your ear, and you can't help the shivers that run down your spine at the sound of his deep voice. "Just... everything. Every time I wasn't there for you. Every time I wasn't there to help you after you were hurt, either on the battlefield or by Snoke. I don't want to have to worry about the fact that I could end up coming back from an assignment and face never being able to see you again." All your words came out in a single breath, a little rushed and hasty, and a deep red glow made its way onto your cheeks. You could feel a soft chuckle vibrate through his chest, and you smiled into his tunic. "Y/N, you're not going to lose me, I promise." You look up into his hazel eyes and find yourself falling even deeper into the hole that you had made for yourself. Retracting your arms from around his neck, you lower yourself down, trying to control the rapid beating of your heart. Walking towards his door, you both enter into the corridor, making your way towards the elevator that would take you to Snoke.

Upon arriving, you put the elevator into emergency stop mode, and feel Kylo grasp your hand tightly. His helmet is currently in his arms, and his eyes were dilated. You could sense that he was nervous, you didn't need a Force connection with him to feel that, it was coming off him in thick waves, and you could tell he was desperately trying to calm down. "Kylo..." you whispered to him as he gripped your hand even tighter. "Kylo, it's going to be fine. I'm here now. I won't let him do anything to you. I promise." He looks at you with dilated pupils and quivering lips, and you grasp his hand firmly in order to calm his nerves, to show him that someone was there for him when he needed it most. And Force, you would always be there for him. "Now, we've gotta see him, unfortunately, so let's just get this meeting over with, and then we can go and crash in my quarters and watch one of those really old holonet cheesy series that you pretend not to love." He laughs at this, a clear sound despite what he was feeling, and you felt his emotions become more balanced and levelled. He squeezed your hand again, but this time it had a meaning behind it as you made the elevator come out of emergency stop mode. This time, it meant 'thank you'. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Coming to kneel before the throne in the dark red room, you could see why Kylo was scared. Although you had met Snoke many times, he took special attentiveness and observation over Kylo, possibly because he was proven to be stronger with the Force due to his legacy. You could admit honestly that you were thankful for the reduced attention, but it pained you to think that Kylo was subjected to his disapproval and anger more often. That wasn't fair. "My apprentices, you have returned." He says in a slow and meaningful manner, something which was not common for Snoke and made your stomach flip. Something wasn't right here. "Yes, Supreme Leader, we have returned." You say calmly and clearly, lifting your head to look directly at him. "How was the mission?" He asked, yet another question that made you confused. Usually, he would just question whether you succeeded or not, not how it was or what happened. "Very good, Supreme Leader. No complications were met, traitors and other people of the same regard were taken care of, and we succeeded." 

"Good, good. This is wonderful news, my apprentices. You have done well." You look up at him again from your kneeling position and murmur a 'thank you' before bowing your head again. "Before I dismiss you, my young apprentices, I have something I must ask of you both." You could feel Kylo let out a ripple of fear through your Force bond, careful to not let Snoke know, and in return, you sent a wave of calming memories towards him. The time you both decided to pilot a TIE Silencer, and you had decided to sit on Kylo's lap so that you could be in the same one. The time where you both were sent on your first mission together after becoming Knights Of Ren and getting drunk and just spending the night on the ship laughing and talking, learning more about each other before finally drifting off to sleep next to each other, firmly becoming best friends, not that you weren't already. You felt him smile, and send another 'thank you' through the Force, to which you responded with just a sense of serenity and peace, something that he needed when in times of turmoil and overwhelming emotions. "Yes, Supreme Leader, what is it?" You hear Kylo's modulated voice speak beside you, confident and clear. "I need you to find the scavenger girl and bring her to me, alive. She could be of great use to us in the future." You stiffen at the mention of her, thinking back to the dream you had experienced a little while ago. Determined not to let Snoke see what you had dreamt about, you put up your mental walls, blocking anyone (apart from Kylo) from seeing anything inside your mind. "Yes, Supreme Leader, we will see to it straight away." You hear Kylo say from beside you, and you're praying to the Maker and the Force that this is nearly over. Because something feels wrong. Something feels tense, and you were not keen to find out. "Very well, my apprentices. You are dismissed. If I gather any more information on this... girl, then I will send for you both at once." You both stand up hastily and walk towards the elevator so quickly you're surprised that Snoke doesn't call you back under suspicion.

Once inside the elevator, with the doors shut, you both breathe a heavy sigh of relief. "Well, that was oddly uneventful. Not that I'm complaining." You say to him, but then you notice something. He's trembling. "Kylo, what's wrong?" He breathes a heavy sigh before tears begin to well up in his eyes, making them sparkle and shine in the elevators harsh white light surrounding you both. "I'm just- FORCE!" He shouts as tears begin to make their way down his face, creating patterns on his pale skin that were both beautiful and heart-breaking. "Kylo, calm down. It's okay. You're okay." You say to him softly, holding him as he begins to sob silently, his head becoming buried in your shoulder. Out of instinct, your hand comes up to stroke the hair at the nape of his neck, and you hear him breathe a sigh and shudder of relief, in knowing that someone was there for him. That he wasn't alone. 

"I'm just... I'm terrified." He admitted into your neck, and you become confused. You knew that he had a hard time processing emotions, unfortunately, that's kind of what happened when you had a mother who was more concerned with her job than her son and a father who wasn't able to stay in one place for a long time. But you had never felt this before. This was his emotions being sent into overdrive. "About what? Talk to me, Kylo. Please." You feel him take in a deep breath, and let it out slowly, hot air fanning your skin as he tried to calm down. He brings his head up to look at you directly, and you see something you've never seen before in his eyes, and it scares you because you don't know what it is. "I'm terrified of losing you." He says in a small voice, as though afraid to admit something like this, as though admitting his feelings were going to make a monster or something else that you couldn't bear to be around. "I'm terrified of losing you too. I told you that earlier." You say with a confused frown, knowing for a fact that there was something more beneath that simple phrase. "There's something else isn't there?" You ask him quietly, and you hear his breath hitch. "Don't make me say it, Y/N. Please don't make me say it. I don't want you to think any worse of me." He whispers to you. By this time, you've reached your quarter's floor, and you both step out.

"Right. Let's go to my quarters okay?" Seeing him nod in response, you grasp his arm with your hand and pull him over to your door, where you input the code and allow the door to slide open with a slight hiss. You pull him inside, instructing him to go and sit on the couch while you go freshen up. After locking yourself inside the bathroom, you take a couple of deep breaths before pulling out sleeping shorts and an old black t-shirt, whilst wearing knee-high socks. Pulling your hair of its bun, you brush it out quickly before returning to the lounging area, where Kylo was sat, cape and boots discarded and lay down on the couch with his eyes closed, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. You sit down next to him on the couch and take his hand in yours, his eyes fluttering open suddenly as he looks down at your entwined hands. "You wanna tell me what's going on inside that head of yours Ren?" You say to him softly. You feel his hands move to your waist and suddenly lift you up until you're straddling his hips. Blushing at the position, you realize it's so he can sit up and hold you while he talks, something he does when he's in need of comfort. It happens a lot on missions when he's not conked out from pure exhaustion. He closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, as though steeling his nerves for something that he doesn't want to. "I need to tell you something, Y/N. But I need you to promise me something before I do so." You cock your head to the side, confused at to what he's asking, but nod your head in response. "I need you to promise that after I tell you this, you won't think any worse of me, nor will you leave." 

Now, you know that to a lot of other people, saying that kind of thing would make them want to immediately do the opposite, but you know Kylo, and that he's only saying these things as a precaution, because on the inside, behind that terrifying Commander and Master of the Knight of Ren exterior, is a scared man who has seen way too many people abandon him because of who he is and what he's done. You know Kylo, and you would never leave him. No matter what happened. After repeating this sentiment to him, you see his shoulders visibly relax a fraction, though still tense. "I've been... feeling something unusual to me for quite some time, Y/N. It's scary, and I don't know what to do. But I don't want to keep you in the dark about it. You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose you because you felt I was keeping something from you, which I never would unless it was for your own safety. Hence, why I've kept this from you for so long." Taking another deep breath, he continues. "I'm just going to admit it outright because there's no other way I can do it really. Y/N, I think I'm falling in love with you, and I can't stop it. It's scaring me so much because I'm absolutely terrified that you won't feel the same towards me." His words are flooding out now, as though he's afraid that he's going to be stopped from saying them. "I really, really like you, Y/N. Even if you don't feel the same, I just wanted you to know how I feel. I can't keep it a secret anymore, and I refuse to." You realize that you've been holding in a breath since he started his expression of feelings, and you slowly let it out. You feel him tense beneath you, and you know he's thinking that you're going to bolt after what he just said. Grabbing his hands, you pull them around your waist and clasp them together at the small of your back, and your hands make your way around his neck as you bury your face in his neck. You feel him breathe a sigh of relief, and you reciprocate the action. 

Lifting to look at him again, you bring your head down until your lips collide in a soft and sensual kiss. There's no effort or intention of deepening the kiss, it's just something that allows you two to feel closer than you ever have before. Pulling away, you say "Was that enough of an answer for you?" He chuckles at that and plants a small peck on your lips again. Bringing your head down to rest in the crook of his neck again, you both manoeuvre yourselves so you're laying down on the couch. You both lay there silently, just holding each other. Because even though there will be a war to fight tomorrow, and enemies to hunt down, and a million other things that could go wrong, you'll have each other. And that's something that you'll forever be grateful for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, 2.6k words later and this is finally finished. If you liked this, be sure to leave comments and kudos please :) thank you all for reading!


	3. Get Back Down Here And Kiss Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A one-shot requested by my lovely friend on Tumblr. I tried to do your request justice, I hope you like it.
> 
> Request: haha maybe protective Kylo, reader is injured and he has to save them, something along those lines, he's all strong and sexy but a softie for you 👌. 
> 
> Warnings: none really, slight mention of gore, swearing

“Kylo, we’re about to land, you good?” Y/N says to him as she walks towards the cockpit. “Yeah, I’m fine don’t worry.” He replies as he stands up and puts on his helmet and cowl. Clipping your lightsaber to your belt, you follow him to the ramp door of the Command Shuttle and you feel the familiar vibrations of beginning to land. “Remember” came his modulated voice from beside you, “Kill anyone who gets in your way, no matter who they are. Rendezvous back at this point after acquiring what you need. Is that understood, Commander L/N?” Taking a serious position beside him, you pull up the hood of your cape far enough so it conceals your face partially and nod curtly. “Understood Supreme Leader.” You both charge out of the Command Shuttle and head in opposite directions, but not before uttering a small ‘good luck’ to each other before sprinting away. 

You really hated the Forest Moon of Endor, you really did. It was humid, and everything was just forest for miles around. You supposed that it sort of came with the name, but it didn’t mean you had to like it at the same time. Especially the humidity. You didn’t consider yourself to be a vain person or overly concerned with looks, you didn’t have time for that in a job likes yours, but damn you could sure as Force get annoyed when it mucked up your hair for days on end. Tuning into the Force, you tried to figure out where the thing was that you were looking for. Kylo had decided to go on an assignment in order to find an old Sith artefact, one that could apparently help the First Order crush the Resistance once and for all. Even though you were well versed in the history of the Sith and the Jedi, you had forgotten to read up on what it is that you were finding and what it could be used for. All you had been told in debriefing (which literally just consisted of going to Kylo’s quarters at 2 in the morning to look over mission plans) is that it was a scroll of some kind and the language was Galactic Basic, and that it was being held in the forest somewhere. “Well thanks Kylo, fucking everything here is forest, what do you want me to do? Gain x-ray vision?” You muttered to yourself, before gasping as you felt yourself tune in what felt like a very powerful Force signature. Kylo had also told you that this particular object gave off a very dark and powerful energy, so by gauging what you were feeling currently, you guessed you were in the right place. Moving towards where you felt the signal was coming from, you felt a sense of uneasiness, but brushed it off as just feeling the energy from the artefact. You assumed there were no residents on the lush moon (who wants to live in a forest this thick?) apart from the small Ewoks, and you knew for a fact that they wouldn’t be able to hurt you, so you brushed it off and kept on going. That was your big mistake.

You kept following the Force signature as it became stronger and darker, until you found yourself standing in front of what looked like an old bunker-shelter. Turning on your comm and placing it in your ear, you log onto Kylo’s feed. “Kylo, I think I’ve found the place.” You hear a grunt in response, and decide to take that as the go-ahead, knowing he’s probably too busy looking for whatever the hell he needed. He had said that there were two artefacts, so instead of making two journeys, you both just decided that it was easier to split up and meet back at the ship when both artefacts had been acquired. You suddenly felt a sharp ringing in your ears, and scream and swear loudly as you tear the comm roughly from your ear and throw it on the ground. However, the ringing continues, and only later (when you’re stuck in the medbay in critical condition, mind you) that you realise the ringing was the tone of a detonation device, simply the calm before the storm. Sending a flurry of panic through the Force bond to Kylo, you begin to run back into the thick of trees and bushes, only to make it five steps before a loud ‘BOOM!’ goes off behind you and you find yourself flying, hitting the ground with a loud thud. You send a panicked ‘HELP’ to Kylo as you lay there, feeling numb from the explosion, and you pass out with Kylo speaking ‘Please, hold on Y/N’ into your mind.

\-----(Later, in the medbay)------

You wake up groggily, eyes opening slowly and blinking to accommodate your eyes to the harsh white light of, what you assumed to be, a room. Realising you were in the medbay, you begin to panic, hearing the heart monitor skyrocket. Suddenly, a large person clad in all black rushes into the room, and its only when he wraps his arms around you and you feel hot tears make their way down your neck that you know who it is. It’s Kylo. “Are you okay Y/N? Please say you’re okay darling.” You stiffen momentarily at the pet name, he usually calls you it when he’s teasing you or joking around, but never in this context before. You admit to yourself that you’ve had feelings for Kylo for a while, but you’ve never admitted it to him before, part of you was too scared because you didn’t want to look like a fool and another part of you was terrified of rejection from him. “Kylo, Kylo, I’m fine, are you okay?” He looks up at you with welling eyes, tears threatening to spill over as he grips you tightly again. “Yes, yes I’m fine, but don’t worry about me. Do you remember anything at all?” You frowned, realising that you only remembered bits and pieces of what had happened on the mission, and even those were little fuzzy around the edges, like they weren’t really yours. “Not really, just bits and pieces, how long have I been out for?”

“You’ve been in a coma for two days, you went into one just after we brought you to the medbay, apparently shrapnel had become embedded in your side and you were losing a lot of blood. The doctors didn’t know if… if you were going to wake up. I thought I was going to fucking lose you Y/N. And that was the worse feeling I’ve ever felt.” You can barely gasp at his confession before his lips are on yours, vying hungrily and passionately for your affection, like he was trying to will you into reality just by his lips alone. And let’s just say, that would certainly work. The kiss slows down into something softer but still equally passionate, and you both break away with the need for air. “Kylo, I do believe you’re starting to go soft, my dear.” You say with a teasing tone, noticing how he tries to hide his smirk at your comment by raising a single eyebrow. “If you tell anyone-“

“Now why would I do that when they would all want a piece of you? I hope you’ve noticed I’m not exactly a fan of sharing over recent years, and I’ll be damned if it’s going to change with you.” You say while laughing, grasping his hand and squeezing it firmly, to let him know that your still here. “Oh really? And what makes you think you do indeed have me Miss L/N?” You smirk at that, and pull him down for another kiss. “I would say, judging the evidence, that you’re clearly mine due to what we just did, hmm?” He smiles against your lips, though pulling away quickly as a doctor enters the room. “Now, Supreme Leader Ren, Commander L/N will have to continue resting so she can heal the contusions which are present on her ribs and arms, but I’m happy to discharge her to her quarters if she is able to go on medical leave for the next couple of days?” He nods firmly to the doctor, indicating that those conditions will be fine, and the doctor smiles as she excuses herself from the room. You smile at Kylo, the strong and fierce man in front of you who can be soft around you only, a side which you are most grateful to see. “What are you staring at?” He says with a smile. “Just you.” You answer honestly, and you’re delightfully surprised to see a pale pink blush spread across his nose and cheeks. “Now, do us both a favour and get back down here and kiss me.” You say with a grin, and he does just that as you both laugh, happy to be in your own little bubble for now.

He may be Supreme Leader Ren, he may rule the First Order with an iron fist, but with you, he was just Kylo. And that’s what made him perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed it! If you have any requests please don't hesitate to send them either through here or on my Tumblr :)


	4. SFW Headcanons- Ben Solo (Pre-Kylo Ren)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reads and the kudos!

**A = Affection** **(How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)**

Ben was sent off to the academy at 10 years old, so he didn’t really have a whole lot of time to start exploring relationships, and since the Jedi Code forbid any type of attachments, he stayed well enough away from it until he late teenage years.

Ben was afraid to show affection at first, and so would be wary to be around people. However, during the first few months of your secret relationship, he became more open and comfortable with small pecks on the cheeks or the lips, hugging and cuddling.

**B = Best friend** **(What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)**

Because Ben has to conform to the Jedi Code and rules from his uncle day long, he has a sense of wanting him to be free, making him a very exciting, but unfortunately sometimes reckless best friend. The friendship would start when you first met him when being trained by Master Skywalker, and Luke had decided to pair you two up because you had similar Force abilities and strength.

**C = Cuddles** **(Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)**

Ben’s not really a fan of cuddling because he’s terrified of getting too comfortable with a person and them leaving him soon after, or getting caught by his uncle. But, he learns to like it more as time goes on.

**D = Domestic** **(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)**

Ben would want to settle down, but would be scared of ending up like his father and not being around much. So he tends to have an attitude of ‘that’s not for me’ because of what he experienced growing up. He wouldn’t want to inflict the same feelings of abandonment he felt upon anyone else.

**E = Ending** **(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)**

Unfortunately, I think if Ben wanted to end the relationship he’d grow really closed off towards his s/o and just get really angry all the time to try and push them away.

**F = Fiance(e)** **(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)**

Ben is worried about commitment, especially marriage. He worries that he’ll turn out like his father, and not be around much, and he wouldn’t want his spouse to feel abandoned. I think you two would have to sit down and really talk about, especially since you follow the Jedi Code (to a point) and attachments are forbidden.

**G = Gentle** **(How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)**

Ben’s a strong guy, physically. Emotionally, he can break down very often, whether it’s because he feels lonely or abandoned or worthless. He needs a lot of hugs and kisses to get him through periods where he feels those kind of emotions, and he’s forever thankful that you didn’t walk away when he acted ‘weak’, though you assure him that he’s the strongest man you’ve ever met.

**H = Hugs** **(Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)**

Ben likes hugs because he’s able to be close to you. Although cuddling is not high on his list (yet) he still likes being able to hold you and be close to you. He does it fairly often, at least once a day, and his hugs are all encompassing, it’s like being wrapped in a blanket of warmth.

**I = I love you** **(How fast do they say the L-word?)**

Ben waits a looong time to say the L-word. He’s afraid of coming on too strong, and so refrains from saying it in order to not scare you off. He actually says it by accident one time when you had beaten him at training, and he had just randomly said ‘This is why I love you’ with a massive smile of his face while you kneel above him with his saber pointed at his neck. You bolted upright in shock, but only because you weren’t expecting it, and immediately brought him into a passionate kiss while repeating the sentiment to him.

**J = Jealousy** **(How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)**

Ben gets jealous because he knows how beautiful you are, and because his insecurities lead to jealously. However, when you punch a guy in the nose and whack him in the stomach with the hilt of your lightsabre for hitting on you, that all flies out the window.

**K = Kisses** **(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)**

Ben’s kisses range from soft and sweet to rough and passionate depending on the day he’s had. He likes to kiss you on the forehead and the lips, and he likes it when you kiss him on his neck, lips and collarbone.

**L = Little ones** **(How are they around children?)**

Ben isn’t very good with children, but for some reason they love him? Whether it’s the vibe he just gives off naturally or because of his Force signature we’ll never know, but they all seem to be immediately calm when in his presence.

**M = Morning** **(How are mornings spent with them?)**

‘Mornings are times for training’ as Luke Skywalker would say, so you’re both up very early in the morning to either do saber practise or meditate, leaving no time to savour each other’s company.

**N = Night** **(How are nights spent with them?)**

Nights with Ben are considerably less stressful considering there’s no scheduled training or meditation, so that’s your time to just relax with Ben and unwind.

**O = Open** **(When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)**

Ben didn’t open up for a long time, and the first time he opened up to you was at 2 in the morning one night when you were just about to fall asleep. You just let him talk, stroking his hand to let him know you were still there and still listening to him, and when he finishes you just look at him and say ‘thank you’ and kiss him gently. He’s eternally grateful that he has you to talk to, it dims some of the darkness he feels inside.

**P = Patience** **(How easily angered are they?)**

Ben is easily angered, even before he became Kylo Ren, and would usually take it out in a physical way. Upon bushes, trees, walls, anything that could withstand a hit of his lightsaber. But he’s always very careful not to hurt you.

**Q = Quizzes** **(How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)**

Ben remembers a lot about you, especially small little details that you would usually expect anyone to forget.

**R = Remember** **(What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)**

When you stayed up with him to talk about his past. It made him feel more connected to you, both emotionally and through the Force.

**S = Security** **(How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)**

Ben’s very protective of you, but that mainly translates into protecting you from himself, because he knows how angry he can get and he would never want to hurt you.

Ben wants to be protected from his mind. He hates how dark it can get most of the time and feels really alone because of it because it feels like no one understands him, not even his uncle. So when you just hold him and you say that you’ll always be there for him, he feels protected and safe.

**T = Try** **(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)**

Since you guys are at the Jedi Temple, and most of the time being watched over by Luke, it’s not easy to go on dates and such. Therefore, when you two sneak out at night just to spend time together or on your anniversary, Ben will put a shit ton of effort in what you’ll do, where you’ll go and what he’ll get you. He’ll take you to your favourite place on the Temple grounds, and craft you something that’s special to him. On your one year anniversary, he crafted a pendant necklace from a bit of kyber crystal that had broken while he was making his lightsaber. You never take it off.

**U = Ugly** **(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)**

He sleeps like a rock, and he really likes to sleep in. So getting him up is a chore and a half.

**V = Vanity** **(How concerned are they with their looks?)**

To be honest, Ben isn’t overly concerned with his looks. When he lived with Leia and Han he was usually helping out on the Falcon with Chewie and Han, so he was used to having oil, grime and dirt all over his clothes, so he wasn’t really bothered. Since meeting you, he’s tried to clean up a bit, but only because he doesn’t want to look like a slob in front of you.

**W = Whole** **(Would they feel incomplete without you?)**

Yes he would, but then he’d hear Snoke calling him ‘weak’ for having feelings and try and push it away. It doesn’t stop it hurting though when you’re not there.

**X = Xtra** **(A random headcanon for them.)**

Ben has snuck out of the Temple more times than he can count with you in order to either watch the stars or do something reckless. The last thing you did was take a trip to the forest behind the Temple and try and climb some trees to see who could get the highest. Ben still apologises to this day about breaking your leg, even though it wasn’t his fault you fell.

**Y = Yuck** **(What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)**

Ben can’t stand people who are cocky. He can get along with sarcastic people because he has the same hour as them (thanks Leia and Han) but people who are cocky he just can’t stand. Or people who are arrogant.

**Z = Zzz** **(What is a sleep habits of theirs?)**

He repeatedly has nightmares, not because of anything that’s happened, but because Snoke plants images in his mind of death and destruction. There have been a number of times where you’ve had to go to him because he’s woken up screaming and sobbing in pain.


	5. Stolen My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Hey!! Can I make a request for Kylo Ren? The reader is dating him and as her family was falling apart due to her parents getting divorced. She was very close with her younger brother and is very protective of him. Kylo had a general idea of what her family was like from what she told him. He found out more about it when he hears her having an upsetting phone call from her dad. Kylo has met her brother before and got along well with him. He sees her brother standing next to her, clearly upset. The reader ends the phone call with her dad by telling him to fuck off and leave them alone. After the ordeal, Kylo helps them to feel better and talk things out about the situation they were in and learns that her dad is really mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This request came from my Tumblr so if you wanna give me one then just 

“Hey, babe, your phone’s ringing!” Kylo shouted through to you into the bedroom as you finished putting on your makeup. Tonight was date night, and you had decided to go all out for once and you had to say, you looked like a million fucking dollars. If this didn’t drive Kylo crazy, then practically nothing would. You had on a short, sleeveless black dress with red lace around the neckline and hem, as well as a red crystal necklace that Kylo had gotten you one year for your birthday and black heels with red soles. Your Y/H/C hair was done up in beautiful barrel curls and had been put up into a half up bun, half down hairstyle with a few hairs being brushed out at the side to make it seem more natural. For makeup, you had decided to go with a simple smoky eye look with winged eyeliner and a blood-red lipstick shade that complimented your dark eyeshadow choice. “Okay, I’m coming babe hold on!” You hollered back through as you finished your last coat of lipstick and took one last look in the mirror. Taking your heels for now and going to the living room, you notice Kylo’s mouth literally drop when he saw you. To render him speechless was an achievement in itself, so to render him to a point where he couldn’t do anything other than look at you made you real damn proud of yourself. “See something you like?” You ask coyly, grabbing your phone from the coffee table and noticing you had a missed call, from a person you didn’t really speak to: your dad.

You and your family had a… complicated relationship. Growing up, you had the occasional row with your parents about the usual stuff like ‘wanting to go on my own path’ and ‘being allowed out at later times’, but you had always gotten along fairly well with them all. However, the only person in your family who you were especially close to was your younger brother. You were incredibly protective of him and had always been like that, from the minute he was born. He was 5 years younger than you, and so when you had went off to college he was still in middle school and a year away from becoming a freshman in high school, so you were really worried about what it was going to be like at school and at home now that you were spending most of your time studying for your future. You knew that he had a hard time in school; he wasn’t a jock or a popular kid, instead of playing football he would rather read a play by Shakespeare or code a new game on his laptop. He aced all his midterms and finals and pop quizzes, and got an A+ on every single assignment and project. He was part of the school council and the debate team rather than signing up for soccer. And for most of his school life, he had been bullied for it. Which you found immensely unfair. Why should someone be bullied just because they’re different?

The phone rang again; it’s light, musical tone bringing you out of your thoughts, the irony of how happy ringtone was and what the person on the other end of the line was like. Swiping shakily, you look at Kylo and put a finger to your lips as you speak into the phone. “Hey dad, what’s up?”

“ _Hey Y/N, how are you doing?”_

You look at Kylo confused, and he just shrugs his shoulders and looks at you sympathetically. From what you’ve told him, your family is regular, but you’ve all still got a rocky relationship with each other. You never really kept in contact with your dad since you guys were so different; all communication was relayed through your mother. “I’m… fine, why you calling me? Our summer meetup isn’t for another couple of weeks.” That was another thing about your family. Since you were studying for a doctorate in medicine across the country, and your father mainly went on business trips due to his job, you guys didn’t see each other (which was probably a good thing in all honesty). So, a couple times a year on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, each other’s birthdays and for a whole 2 weeks in the summer, you guys met up for a chance to act like one big happy family. Luckily, since you and Kylo started dating, he was happy to come along with you, which had eased the tension now that you finally had ‘a man on your arm’ as your mother had commented last year when you had brought him along. “ _Well, it’s actually not about that. It’s about me and your mother.”_

“Oh. Right. What about you and mom? Are you and her okay? Is something wrong?”

_“Well, nothings wrong in the sense that one of us is in danger. Look, I’m just going to tell you outright. Me and your mother are getting divorced.”_

You nearly drop the phone in shock from his statement and Kylo immediately stands up and walks over to you, placing his hand on your back and rubbing soothing circles into it as you speak calmly into the receiver. “I’m sorry, what?”

“ _Yeah, kiddo, me and your mom are splitting. You gotta admit, this has been a long time coming now don’t you think?”_

You seethe as you try and compose yourself so you don’t start raging at him through the phone. Throughout your childhood and adolescence, he had always said that you had a temper on you, you definitely didn’t want to prove him right on this occasion. Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door. “Hey dad can you hold on a minute? Someone’s at the door.” Hearing a ‘yes’ come from the receiver, you put the phone on hold and place it down on the coffee table. Resisting the urge to scream, you fling your arms around Kylo, just muttering a ‘thanks’ and ‘I’ll tell you about it later’ in his ear, knowing full well that he’s going to ask about what happened during the call. Hearing someone knock again, you look in the mirror hanging above the mantel and deem yourself presentable. Walking to the door, you cautiously open it, only to recognise who is it and fling it open in shock. “Jeremy?” You say, not thinking that it’s him and it’s some evil clones. Damn, you really need to stop watching those spy shows. “Hey, Y/N, did you get a call from dad? Did you hear about him and mom?” He says with a forced smile and watery eyes, and you can tell that he’s a couple minutes from breaking down.

“Yeah, I did. How are you doing with that?”

“…If I’m being completely honest- not great.” He says, finally breaking down and throwing his arms around your shoulders and bringing you into a bear hug. Even though he was your younger brother, he was still taller than you, which made hugging him a bit difficult, but you still reciprocated with as much fierceness as you could. “Listen, dad’s on the phone, why don’t me and you go talk to him together?” He nods wordlessly and just hugs you again, albeit softer this time, and follows you to the living room. “Hey Kylo. How you doin?” Your brother says to your boyfriend as you go to the kitchen and grab a glass of water. “I’m pretty good kid, though I’m more worried about you and your sister. She said she’ll tell me later, but I really just wanna be there for her, ya know? She means a hell of lot to me, I hope you know that, kid.” You smile at the confession, and realize that this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, once and for all. But that was a discussion that had to be shelved for later, you had bigger fish to fry right now.

“Right.” You said as you walked back to the living room and picking up your phone. “I’m gonna take dad off of hold and we’ll both talk to him. Kylo do you want to go do something or are you okay to stay here? I think this might take a while unfortunately, so I don’t know if you want to cancel those dinner reservations babe.” He nods and smiles at you, planting a kiss on your cheek and whispering a ‘I’ll be right back’ as he goes to call the restaurant. You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, look at your brother and press the HOLD button. “Hey dad, it’s me, I’m back.”

“ _Hey kiddo, I was starting to get worried, who was at the door?”_

“Uh, actually it was Jeremy, and he’s pretty upset to be honest. You must have sprung this on him pretty quickly.” You hear your dad take an audible gulp on the phone, as if he wasn’t expecting your response. You’re glad to have made him rattled, now he knew how you and your brother felt. “ _Oh, right. Is he still there?”_ You nod at your brother, and luckily he gets the hint. “Hey dad, it’s uh, Jeremy.”

“ _Hey son, what you doing at your sister’s house?_

“Well, since you and mom are splitting, I couldn’t exactly go to either of you two, and I was already out with some friends so I decided to drive over to Y/N’s. At least **she’s** always been there for me.”

_“Hey, that’s not fair. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling you over the phone. I know how you get when faced with difficult topics, and it ain’t pretty. Kinda didn’t want to be in the middle of that, ya get me?”_

Jeremy let out a mirthless laugh into the phone, filled with hurt and irony. “Well dad thanks for that. Real helpful. And the excuse you ‘didn’t want to be in the middle of it’? What does ‘it’ even mean? What, just because I was diagnosed with anxiety last year doesn’t mean I’m gonna break. But again, thanks a lot, really helpful.”

Jeremy walks away after saying his piece, and you know better than to go after him. By this time, Kylo has arrived back in the room, and walks over to Jeremy to console him while you deal with your father on the phone. “Listen dad, you have to understand that even though you may not want to face these things, you’re gonna have to sooner or later. We’re still your kids after all. Our feelings and opinions should matter to you.”

“ _Sweetheart, I-“_

“No dad, let me finish. You can’t say that you ‘thought it was for best’ when you clearly just wanted to the easy way out, which isn’t really fair on me and Jeremy, is it?”

“… _No. No, it’s not fair._ ”

“No, it’s not fucking fair. Even though I’m an adult, Jeremy is only halfway through high school. He’s still going through shit of his own, and to spring something as big as him on that is just downright cruel. So you know what you can do?”

“ _Sweetheart, don’t do this-“_

“You can fuck right the hell off. I’ll talk to mom about this, maybe she’ll actually explain this situation to us instead of just dropping us in it and expecting us to be completely fucking fine with it, which we’re **not** by the way, just in case you couldn’t tell. So goodbye dad, text me when your moving out of moms house if you haven’t already and I’ll see you whenever.”

You tear the phone from your ear like it was burning you and press the END CALL button immediately, chest heaving from anger and distress. You hadn’t gotten too out of hand on the phone apart from that bit at the end, so you considered it a win. Debating on whether to call your mother, you decide against it, realising now probably wasn’t the best time to talk to her after the altercation you had just had with you dad, opting to instead throw your phone on the couch. Rubbing your hands all over your face in annoyance, you only realise a second later that you were going to ruin all your makeup, which took a whole _**2 hours**_ to do. Groaning at the thought of having to reapply it, you fall down on the couch with your head in your hands and start to sob, only to feel someone’s warm hands rub soothing circles into your back. Kylo. He was still here. He hadn’t ran away, even after witnessing that terrible argument with your father. You looked up at him and just smiled, thankful to have someone there for you.

“Jeremy just went out to pick up a pizza and a couple bottles of soda. I know this is probably a stupid question, but are you okay?” You laugh lightly at the question, but the laugh is light and tinkly, genuine. “Yeah, I’ll be okay, it just came as a bit of a shock. Though I don’t think we’ll have to drag ourselves along to the summer trip this year, thank fuck.” He laughs loudly and kisses you on the forehead, laying back into the couch and bringing you with him to snuggle into his chest. “As much as I love you, I don’t think I could go another year with your mother hounding me about finally ‘popping the question’. Is it not enough we’re living together?” You gasp a little and turn your head up to face him. “She has not been, please tell me she has not been hounding you with questions about grandchildren and marriage?”

“Well… grandchildren never made an appearance but last year she literally brought your grandmothers ring and showed it to me and everything. She even knew what ring size you were and had already gotten it sized for me to give to you. I told her thank you, but that it felt a little too early to be thinking about marriage ya know? We had only just moved in together as well, I didn’t wanna scare you off.”

“And what about now?” You murmur, looking at the ceiling above you and just enjoying the way Kylo felt against you, behind you, with you. “Hmm?” He asked, not quite sure what you were implying. “How do you feel… about marriage now?” You say nervously, twisting your head around again to gauge his reaction to your question. “Well, would you wanna marry me?” He asks with a laugh, though you can see the anxiety behind his eyes as he asks you the question.

You reach up to his jaw with one hand and pull him down to meet your lips in a soft, chaste kiss. Pulling away after a moment, you smile brightly at him. “Kylo Ren, I would absolutely love to fucking marry you. But you know what I want first?” His eyes brighten considerably with excitement. “What?” He says with a smile. “I want for us to go away, and for you to propose to me when I’m not expecting it. And I don’t want anyone there to see it. I want it to be our moment. Just you and me. Is that okay?”

He nods excitedly and leans down to kiss you a couple more times, grinning like a mad man. ‘But’ you thought ‘’even whilst grinning like a mad man he still looks handsome. My handsome man’. “God I love you, you know that? I love you so much fucking much it hurts sometimes.”

“Well don’t go hurting yourself over me, silly.” You say with a laugh, nudging his side only to get one back in return. “I thought you were training to be a doctor?”

“Well, that’s true…”

“Well, doctor we have a serious case here, I need immediate assistance.”

“And why would that be, young sir?”

“A beautiful woman has stolen my heart, and I don’t want her to give it back.”


	6. Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request from my Tumblr: Can you write Kylo x Jedi!Reader with "I'll show you the dark side."?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for a couple of days, things have been really hectic and I've been working on some other WIPs, such as my other fic 'Study Buddies' which is a college student/doctor!Ben Solo AU if you guys want to check that out :) Hope you enjoy lovelies <3

“Rey, what the hell is going on?” you said as you heard cries of alarm sound from all side of the Resistance ship. Rey kept running to the bridge, pulling you along with her, until you slapped her hand. She yelped in surprise and pain and turned around abruptly to look at you. 

“What the kriff Y/N?!” She exclaimed at you, and you took a step forward. “I asked you what was going on and you didn’t answer me, what was I supposed to do?!” You yelled back, feeling anger simmer to the surface. 

Oh no, you knew that feeling. That feeling of immeasurable anger and hatred for the Light around you. It meant he was near, and that wasn’t good. “It’s him isn’t it, it’s Ren.” You murmur to her quietly before looking at her face, searching for any signs of alternatives. When met with none, your shoulders sagged heavily, but your heart also fluttered at the thought of being near him again. 

“What the kriff Y/N, get it together! He’s your enemy!” You scolded yourself, as you stormed past Rey and broke into a run to get to the bridge. You had to tell Leia that Kylo was near. He could cause some serious damage. Breaking through the doors of the bridge with a stumble, you run up to Leia where she is talking through plans and evasions with Poe. “Leia, it’s-” You paused to take a deep breath before continuing “It’s Kylo, he’s the one leading the attack.” 

Leia’s eyes widened in surprise, and she turned her full attention to you. “How do you know this?” 

“I don’t know, I just do. I can feel it… I can feel… him.” Leia’s eyes continue to widen as you continue talking, and you turn in order to make your way to one of the hangar bays. “Where are you going?” You hear Poe yell from behind you, and without turning you reply to him whilst walking out of the doors. “To go and get Kylo!”

Hoisting yourself into an X-Wing, you press the button next to the ignition to allow the top of the cockpit to lower down over your head. When fully lowered, you press the ignition button, and pull back the steering mechanism, jolting forward out of the shielded bay and into space. “Shit.” You whisper to yourself. You really hated flying, it wasn’t necessarily the flying part which bothered you, it was taking off which was the worse. The way that the X-Wing could just jolt forward made you uneasy.

Sensing Kylo close to you, you swerve just in time for a TIE Silencer to go barrelling past you. Swearing loudly, you turn and race after it, desperately trying to keep up with the black craft. “Oh for fuck’s sake.” You say to yourself as you continue trying to catch the Silencer. Noticing it abruptly turn and start speeding towards the planet below you, you quickly turn your X-Wing as well as hastily move to follow it, hoping it wasn’t a wild goose chase that was going to end in your untimely death. 

As you continued speeding towards the planet’s atmosphere, you realised you don’t know what planet it really was. “ _Chandrila_ ” You hear a voice say, and you immediately jump and turn around, wondering if some small talking creature or droid had managed to smuggle its way into your craft, finding no trace of either one. “ _It’s fine, Y/N, it’s just me_.” You recognise the voice this time, the deep baritone timbre, and a shiver rolls through, only partially anxiety. 

“ _Ren?”_

“ _Now, you know I don’t like it when you call me that, try again.”_

You sigh, unwillingly to give into his cocky nature, but you feel the next words coming out of your mouth before you can stop them. 

_“Kylo, is that you?_ You hear a chuckle through whatever… this was before a reply.

“ _I would have thought you’d have figured that out when you got a reply from me_.”

“ _Well, it can be rather difficult to discern the voice of a person when it is in one’s head you know?_ ”

“ _I quite agree. Though who else would have been able to get inside your head apart from me?_ ” You had to admit, he did have a point with that one. Rey had sworn to you as soon as she’d met you that she would never go inside your head unless it was an emergency, and Kylo was the only other Force-user you knew. 

“ _Okay… you have a point. But why are you inside my head?_ ”

“ _You’ll find that out when we land. Which will be in about 5 minutes_.” 

“ _WHAT?!”_ You exclaim to him as you come back to your senses to find your craft (and you) hurtling towards the planet’s surface at a past which would not be considered safe by anyone other than possibly Poe, and given his track record with speed, that wasn’t very comforting. Slamming a button down in order to engage braking procedures, you feel the speed of the X-Wing start to decrease, and you slowly let out a sigh of relief. Another day without becoming a human, Force-sensitive pancake was always good in your book. 

Once landing, you look around cautiously for Kylo, before noticing the same TIE Silencer that had gone speeding past you earlier landed on the ground not too far away. “Look behind you.” A voice said softly, though not in your head this time, and you turn around rapidly, hand already unhooking your saber from your belt. Before you is Kylo, shoulders slumped and sweat beading his forehead and hairline. “Kylo… what happened?” You ask softly as you hesitantly make your way towards him. 

“Heh, I think the actual question here would be what hasn’t happened, Y/N.” He says sadly, and you look at his eyes. You can see they are broken and dull, hidden behind them years of hurting and torture, both from himself and from others. It hurts to look at his eyes, they show too much, and you look away from them, not wanting to see anything more. 

“Kylo, why are you here?” 

“Why did you follow me?” 

“I didn’t know it was _you_ exactly, I just saw a TIE Silencer and immediately went after it, you know, on instinct.” What you had said was mostly true, you had gone after it not knowing who exactly was in that craft, but something had also told you that Kylo had been close by you, and when you had followed that Silencer that feeling hadn’t gone away. 

“Do you know what this place is, Y/N?” You shake your head, looking around you. You had landed in a forest of some kind, lush with green and all sorts of colours from flowers and colourful fruits. “This is where I grew up, before all… this happened.” You whip your head back to look at him, shocked at the words that had just come out of his mouth. 

“You… grew up here?”

“Yeah, this planet is called Chandrila. It’s where my mother and father came after the war. They had me, and then when I was 10, I was sent to Luke. My mother said it was to protect me, so I could become a _great Jedi_ , but I now know what it really was.” 

You look at his eyes again, and you are startled to see tears starting to form. You feel a pang of pity go through your body for the man in front of you. Despite what he had done, he had gone through some pretty rough stuff growing up, things that you know that you wouldn’t be able to cope with yourself, and he had done it alone. And he had survived it. 

“And why did they send you away Kylo? What was the real reason?” You say to him softly, walking up to him fully and placing a hand on his arm gently. He looks at you with his beautiful hazel eyes, and your heart flutters again. 

“Because they were afraid of me. Well, at least my mother was, she was the only one who was actually around me long enough when I was a child. My… father-” He says with a crack in his voice, and you wonder if he’s going to start crying in front of you. 

“My father was never around much. He was always going off to some new place. Apparently visiting new worlds was more important than his son.” 

“Kylo.”

“...Yes?”

You take a deep breath before continuing. “What do you want from me?”

He looks at you with a confused expression, as though surprised by your question. 

“What makes you think I _want_ anything from you? You’re a Jedi after all, why would I want anything from _you_?” You feel the familiar rage begin to bubble inside your blood, and you fight yourself to restrain it. 

“You see, there it is again. You’ve just opened up to me about what, in my opinion, could be some of the hardest moments of your life. And then you just shut me back out again like with everything and everyone else!” Your voice rises as you reach the end of your sentence, and you can feel the tension between the two of you grow, though it is thickened with something new. 

He looks at you again, but this times his brown eyes are not placid and cool. They are hot and dark with almost tangible anger, and you feel yourself wanting to take a step back from this very dangerous man in front of you. 

Abruptly, he draws his saber from his belt and it ignites with a screech. He begins to slash at trees and shrubbery around you, and you feel your fear seep away, crossing your arms to look at him. When he’s finally finished, he turns around quickly to face you, chest heaving, saber still ignited. “I’m not going to fight you Kylo. I may be Light and you may be Dark, but I don’t want to fight you.” 

All of a sudden, he’s charging towards you, yet you feel yourself not move until his hands are on your hips and are moving you backwards against a tree and suddenly, you can feel warm lips on yours. 

Your eyes are wide, taking a second to process what is happening before you allow them to close. Your hands make their way up Kylo’s chest and around his neck of their own accord, fingers tangling in his thick hair and tugging slightly, earning you a groan into the kiss. 

“ _Kylo_ -” You whisper into the kiss before he shushes you gently and pulls away. Both of your chests are heaving, panting, and you’re yearning for more of him. It’s a little while before you catch your breath and begin to speak again. 

“Why did you just kiss me?” You murmur to him softly, his body still partially against you, your hands still entangled in his hair, as though to keep him from leaving. 

“Why did you kiss me back?” You look up at him, and you know he can see it in your face, know he can see the conflict in you. 

“Y/N, the Light doesn’t deserve you. I know how you feel, always feeling that conflict between what is right and what is wrong, the conflict between wanting to avenge the people you love and being held back by morals. The conflict between Light and Dark.” 

“And what could you do about that? Kiss me until it all goes away?” You say softly with a sad chuckle. 

You knew he was right, you had always been that person in your small group of friends willing to go further than others when someone had done something wrong to either you or one of those you loved. 

You initially thought it was just in your nature, that because of the Force you were meant to take action. But as you had grown older, you had realised it was because you were pulled towards the Dark. It felt natural to give in to that power, and it didn’t scare you as much as it should. 

“No, I’ll do something else.” 

“And what would that be?”

He gives you another kiss, albeit softer and more passionate than the angry one you had shared a few minutes ago, and pulls back to rest his forehead against yours. 

“ **I’ll show you, the Dark Side.”**


	7. Kylo Ren Headcanons- Nicknames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was something me and my friend on Tumblr were discussing because I needed nicknames for my other fic that I was working on and thus this list of headcanons was born. Hope you enjoy lovelies <3

-Kylo is not the type of person to use nicknames. I mean come on, you’ve all seen how he acts in the films and in most fics, he’s quite a dominant (I say quite, I mean _very_ ) person who displays little to no emotion and affection. However, that all changes when he meets his S/O. 

-His s/o doesn’t really use them at first (or at least, he doesn’t notice her using them) until one day she says ‘morning honey’ just as they’re waking up together. 

-Kylo has a miniature breakdown because for nearly all of his life he was shown barely any affection and is **definitely** not used to being called such sweet, soft nicknames, and so his girlfriend has to calm him down so he doesn’t go into a panic attack over being called something that soft and sweet. 

-His s/o talks through it with him and begins to understand why he has so much anxiety surrounding the topic. 

-It’s mainly due to the fact that he’s not used to that level of affection, and so it freaked him out a little bit, but also because of the fact that he used to hear Han calling Leia all sorts of nicknames and since he never had a close relationship with his dad, he doesn’t really understand them and why they’re used. 

-Eventually, he calms down and doesn’t get as anxious when his s/o begins to call him certain nicknames and actually begins to like it. 

-His favourites to be called by you are ‘handsome’, ‘honey’ or ‘darling’ because it makes him feel safe and he likes that feeling. (Despite how dominant he is I have a sneaking suspicion he could secretly be a sub sometimes) 

-He likes to call you ‘baby’ and ‘sweetheart’ because even though they’re the usual ones, he feels special when he uses them and he wants you to feel special too


	8. I Don't Want To Let You Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a request I got from my Tumblr  
> Request: #14 and #21 with Kylo please xx
> 
> 14: "I thought you loved me?" and 21: "I don't want to let you go."

“Kylo, what’s wrong?” You ask him desperately as he continues to walk away, heavy breaths muffled and crackling through his modulator but clear enough that you could tell he was pissed off. Very pissed off.

“Everything, Y/N.” He growled through the modulator as he sped up once he saw the door to his quarters come into view. You placed a hand on his arm and exert some of the Force in order to try and stop his movements so you could talk to him properly, but all it did was slow him down, and minimally at that.

Once he had reached the door to his quarters, he stormed inside and you slipped through quickly before the door could slide shut. When you placed your eyes on Kylo again, you noticed that he took off his helmet and his cowl, leaving him looking very angry and panting heavily, clearly exerting all of his willpower trying not to tear the walls apart.

“Kylo, baby, what’s wrong?” You said softly, coming up behind him and gingerly wrapping your arms around his waist, careful to not set him off any further. He turned so quickly you were sure it gave him whiplash and buried his head in your neck, making no noise but you could tell he was sobbing from the way his back was moving.

**“I thought you loved me?** ” He mumbled into your neck, and you cocked your head in surprise and confusion at the sudden question. Was this what was bothering him?

“I do, of course I do, why? Who said what because I will punch them I swear to-“

“It was Snoke.” He said, cutting you off suddenly as another tear made its way down his face, creating beautiful yet such tragic patterns on his pale skin.

“What did he say?”

“The usual stuff he says to me. That no one has ever loved me, my parents didn’t want me and that’s why they sent me to Luke, and Luke didn’t want the burden of having me so he tried to kill me, and that you’re only with me because of my title and-“

“Woah, woah, woah,” you say, pausing him by raising your hand to him and leading him to the bedroom so you could both sit down, thinking it would be more comfortable if you were sat down for what was going to be a long conversation.

Once he was settled, you took his hand in yours and began to rub soothing circles over it in order to calm him, prompting him silently to talk. 

“I was in a meeting with Snoke, and he starting saying all the stuff he usually says to me, about how my mother and father and uncle just saw me as a burden-”

“Not true,” you interject, as he fixes you with a skeptical look. 

“And about how I was just a child in a mask and I will never be like my grandfather-”

“Again, not true because you are better than your grandfather,” you point out to him. 

He looks at you with a small smile before continuing. 

“And he said that you were only with me because of my title, and that hurt more than anything else he’s said because I think about it a lot-” 

“Kylo.”

“...Yeah?”

“Why the kriff would I only be with you because of your title? I’m literally the same rank as you.” 

“No, I think Snoke meant as in my _title_ , as in ‘Kylo Ren’, that title,” he said as you made a noise of understanding before turning his body towards yours and placing your hands on his cheeks, just holding them there. 

“Kylo, I knew you when you were Ben Solo. I know you now as Kylo Ren. Neither of those names changes how I feel about you. I love you so much, no matter what name you have because those names do not define who you are, only you can do that. Those names do not make you less of a person or more. Okay?” 

His eyes become glossy with unshed tears as you finish your speech and he just looks at you with a toothy smile, dimples becoming apparent in his face and taking years of stress and the toll of being a Force-user off of him, making him seem younger and more carefree. He nods at you, and you bring him in for a slow, sweet kiss. 

It’s unlike the kisses you usually have, which are either passionate and rough or fleeting and quick as you both leave to complete your duties. This one speaks of promise and love and that you will be with each other until the end. When you both pull away, him chasing your lips a little longer, you utter one thing. 

“ **I don’t want to let you go**.”

He chuckles a little and smiles even wider, a few tears making their way down his face though this time they do not signify pain and loss, they signify love and compassion for another. They are ones of joy. 

“I trust that you won’t.”


	9. Kylo HCs- Kylo comforting you and helping you on your period.

-Kylo doesn’t know specifically what you mean when you say you’re on your period. 

-He was never educated on the matter, and was sent away to his uncle and let’s face it, Luke probably thought it was too awkward to teach his nephew about that side of biology and he probably didn’t think it necessary.

-But luckily for you, Kylo is a quick learner. 

-If you get your period during the middle of the day? Consider yourself excused for the next three days from work, or if you need more, then you’ll get more. 

-You got really bad cramps? He’ll bring you heating pads, painkillers, anything else that helps the pain. 

-You got cravings? He will bring you ANYTHING you want. Ice-cream? Done. Junk food? Done. Anything you need, he will bring you. 

-He’s a bit wary of your mood swings since he doesn’t understand what’s happening to your body at first, but then he reads up on it during his time when’s he’s not performing his Commander or Supreme Leader duties and educates himself, and he helps you and calms you down. Or if you need space, he’ll give you space. 

-He makes sure to do his best not to stress you out during your time of the month, and you always thank him for being so considerate. 

-Honestly, Kylo is so comfortable to be around when you’re on your period because he’s not fazed by it because a) he’s a grown-ass adult who’s seen way weirder and more gross things than something that is completely normal for you and b) he’s educated himself, and you’ve helped him, and he’s not a dick. 


End file.
